My Mosaic Soul

When you become aware that just beneath the still-surface of the status quo is your vibrating soul within, you will begin to believe that in the murkiness of the unchartered lies hope, promise, and unseen boundless opportunity and you can begin to steer towards your purposeful and yet still unknown destination.

A woman I met last night suggested that I “rein myself in”.  And that just felt wrong. She said it with a gentle smile, not realizing how condescending it was.  I stood, feeling the heat in my face intensify. I wanted to cry.  I wanted to shake her. For the love of God I am not unfocused, spinning out of control or jumping all over the place — what is it going to take for some people to understand this?   I have many talents and I am deliberately exploring, developing, and educating my whole self, creating a whole me that will come to a cohesive fruition. But to curtail my interests, to select only a few of my gifts to love and share, to build my own box to make the masses comfortable or to satisfy my immediate financial needs at the expense of all of me – that I can’t do right now. Not because it would be unfair to me, but it would be unfair to everyone I am meant to meet along the way who will benefit  from my willingness to take this chance.

The reality is there were times I felt like I may die penniless and alone and surrounded by Thank you notes. But my soul is a beautiful mosaic you see, made up of pieces found by going into the dark places, the unexpected, following the feeling of mischievousness and enjoying the spontaneity of life and I am proud of that. I simply am not happy with the One Thing. And so I will not rein myself in, instead I will explore even more, every part of me that there is. I will become my own One Thing, made of many colorful pieces.  And I will take along whoever wants to go on the journey with me.